Yo dont text me then not text me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
