is your mom at the bar?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
