Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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