so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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