She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
