they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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