You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
