Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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