? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
