How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
