Three words: puerto rican gang bang
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
