The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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