She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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