so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
