i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
soo... how was my night?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize