I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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