She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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