i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
