i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
