508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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