So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
