break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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