why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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