I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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