I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
