i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
