I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
