My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
His nipple licking is glorious
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