Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
