Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
