Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I wish I only lived at night.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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