Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
