I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This couple is walking their pig around campus
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
