i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
