So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
