Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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