Jerry, you need to find god
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
