i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
