East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
