why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
