no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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