Apparently you make a good broom.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
