Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
