gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
