Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I look better un-naked...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
