Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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