I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
