I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
