she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
