who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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