There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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