its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
