Already got asked if we're dating
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
