I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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