needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
