We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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