then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
