i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
