Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize