Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
