I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
