I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
