chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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