He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
