Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
