so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
