I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
