I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
